Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Worst LA Drivers Classified by Car Brand

I've been a bike commuter for nearly five years now. I've come to the point where I ride more cautiously around some car brands than others. This list, which LA-centric, is slightly different from what I would write for Chicago (Chicago merely consists of taxi cabs and buses).

This list is a completely stereotyped personal analysis of drivers in Los Angeles and the cars they choose to drive, but I'm sticking by it. Also, given the tragic story of Sussana Schick and her alleged hit-and-run accident by a Lexus, I am even more convinced my list is spot-on. You can find developing news about the accident at Biking in LA.

Cars to watch out for when on a bike (in order of worst to better drivers):
  1. Mercedes Benz. These people are all for show and care more about money than the well-being of anyone else who doesn't appear to make more than a Louis Vuitton handbag per day salary. I find Mercedes drivers not only careless, but downright reckless. They have an elitist mentality that they can drive all over the road because godammit, they are in a Mercedes!
    There's actually a woman that lives on the next street over from me. Her car is parked in the ally, which I use to ride my bike to my place. Here apartment isn't a shithole, but it isn't the anywhere near the Ritz, let alone a DoubleTree. But every single day I see her outside in the dirty, smelly ally waxing and polishing her precious black Mercedes. I eye her suspiciously just waiting until the day she sideswipes me.

  2. BMW. Beamer drivers like to go fast. They have some inherent need to constantly gun the engine at every light only to come to a screeching halt at the next red light only 200 meters ahead. Most of these drivers aren't too bright, in that they clearly lack any foresight.

  3. Lexus. Need I say more?
  4. Audi. Audi drivers make plenty of money to drive a BMW, but choose to go for a more sporty style. However, this brush of modesty is short-lived. See this post for one of my favorite Audi driver experiences.
  5. Honda, Ford, Hyundai, Toyota, etc. These brands are all grouped in the same pool. They are your everyday drivers who may even ride bikes sometimes, or at least are friends or colleagues of cyclists. While they are also prone to being total jerk-offs, they can be placed near the bottom of the list.

  6. Bentley, Maserati, Ferrari, etc. Interestingly enough, the drivers of these uber-luxury brands tend to be pretty cautious drivers. I suppose I would drive as careful as a kid with a drivers permit if my car cost a quarter million dollars, too.
So there you have it. My officially unofficial list of the worst car drivers in Los Angeles. Avoid them at all costs when on a bike, or even in a car for that matter. One thing I do think about when I recover from near death bike/car encounters: if ever I do get hit by a car, please make it an Aston Martin.